Shadows of the past
by Hybrid Wayward Dragon
Summary: Tony Stark was always dealing with depression. People just never bothered to look. Maybe its time they did. Trigger warnings for self harm and references to it. I am so sorry for not putting this up before.
1. Shadows of the past

So this is my first ever fanfic. Please tell me what you think. I know its an overused idea but i wanted to give it a try and write one. I probably never would have written this except for my cousin who actually urged me on. So this is basically dedicated to her. Thanks for everything Maryam!  
"A/N this part is a flashback scene. Btw this is first person

*Flashback starts now*

Shadows. That is what the mind of Tony Stark is full of. Who would have thought the 16 year old heir would be depressed? It sounded ridiculous even to myself. But then again I suppose this is who I was under the mask. An insecure depressed boy who just wanted his father's approval. Quite pathetic. I'm sure if Father heard of me being so weak I would once again be told to grow up and that Stark men NEVER admit to weakness or feel it.

But really, look beyond the mask and that's all I am. I pick up a razor, passing its cool sharp blade over my wrist hard. Screaming and crying is pointless so I don't. Why should I? It has been drilled into for a long time. Emotions such as those are not luxuries I can indulge in. Besides a single tear, my eyes remain dry. I dont have to scream. The voices in my head do it for me. They call me Worthless. A burden. They tell me how friendless and alone I am. I have never been given any reason not to agree with them so I don't. Wrapping bandages around my wrists quickly and efficiently, I pull on a hoodie to ensure the invisibility of the bandages. Not like anyone would notice them anyway.

*Flashback end*

Still immersed in memories of a time long past, I did not even realise i was rubbing my thumb over old scars. A coping mechanism for when the voices resurfaced. It became a habit after some time. I did it subconciously now.

But those scars were before MIT. My decision to stop was sudden. It was more of a subconcious one really. My admission into MIT was everything for me. I was actually expecting my father to notice me because of it. To look up from his work and maybe-just _maybe_\- be proud of me for once. It was a child's dream and a fool's hope. I told him and he barely looked up. It was when I finally realised that he didn't give a damn and probably never would. The realisation that I would never be good enough for him pushed something in me. I stopped cutting that day. If nothing I did could affect him, then why should I let him keep hurting me? Of course, the voices never truly went away, but they found different ammunition over the years. Just as how I found different coping mechanisms.

I shook the cobwebs of memories past from my head as I heard Pepper call for me, making sure to cover up the scars before i went to meet her.

A/N so thats a wrap! Hope you like it! Seriously though constructive critism would be adored! Btw not all chapters will be like this.


	2. Acceptance

Pepper was the first to find out about his depression. It was after the whole mess with the paladium poisoning. She had ranted and raved about his idiocy in not telling her when she began questioning his reasons for keeping it a secret. That, coupled with his habit of self-medicating with scotch and his self-deprecating remarks, made it very small jump from 'idiocy' to 'no self-preservation and possibly suicidal'. The first, he had to admit, was true. The second was considered for all of two seconds before being dismissed.

The pros and cons to having Pepper Potts in his life were of a wide variety and Tony didn't know to be grateful for her actually giving two shits about him or to keep her at arms length. After all few people cared about him or bothered to stay for so long before leaving.

Although something in him chilled at the thought of her leaving if she knew how weak he was, he pulled up the sleeves of his AC/DC shirt and showed her his scars to prove how he was over harming himself purposefully. He wasn't sure what was going through his mind at the time and for once followed his instincts over the logic his brain was screaming at him.

~linebreak~

He was still amazed by the fact that she stayed even after seeing how broken he truly was. She promised him that day that no matter what happened, or how many times he mesed up she wouldn't leave. He believed her. And she never left.

Peper POV

Pepper knew that working for Tony Stark would be insane and quite often ridiculous-as was proven with the cat incident- but never had she thought it would come to THIS.

The man refused to tell anyone for almost a year that the very thing saving his life was killing him, and then proves all her fears about his lack of self worth right, just by pulling up a sleeve! She wasn't sure if she wanted to strangle him or hunt down whoever it was that would dare hurt her Tony and give him such a low opinion of himself.

Wait. When the HELL did he become _her_ Tony? Well, whenever THAT development happened, she would figure out later.

Tony Stark had trust issues. In fact, often, they had their own issues. Not that she really could blame him after that mess with Stane... but his faith in her was... astounding. And slightly scary if she was being honest. Trust had to be earned and she wasn't exactly sure what she did to gain Tony's so easily. (Later he would tell her it was because she was there and because she she saw through the bullshit that was his mask to the man underneath a long time before he showed it to her and she still stayed).

Really, she was clueless to what she could do, so she did what she did best. She stayed. She helped him through the hard days when the voices were so loud he would just hide in bed. If she could deal with crazy, she could with this too. And really, that was all that mattered.

A/N so pepper is awesome. Im proud of this. Next chapter is steve! So yeah.


	3. Old wounds

**We cover up the scars and never let them go. -The Wanted. Love sewn**

Stark and Rogers did not get along. Sure they worked together on occasion, especially when the Avengers were called to assemble, but they clashed on a regular, if not daily basis.

Steve was still stuck in the past. Sure he was adjusting, but a part of him still fully epected to wake up in a camp somewhere and be called for a mission. Tony Stark _really_ did not help matters. He kept expecting to see Howard every time he looked at him and was instead greeted by someone who bore no possible similarity besides his genius and random on-the-spot ideas.

All he saw in Stark was a huge ego, a strange sense of humor, the uncanny ability to disobey orders and to anger or annoy every higher up he possibly could.

He couldn't have been more wrong in assuming Tony Stark could be summed up in a few sentences.

~Linebreak~

In the end it was a small thing that caused Tony to finally lose it.

He was being an ass and he knew it, but that did not give Steve permission to bring up his father.

It was right after a battle with some doombots- seriously that was Reed's problem! Why were they dealing with it?!- when the good captain decided to tell him of his lack of team spirit and how he was NEVER where he should be. They were alone in his lab where he was trying to install some updates to the suit. Tony was trying, he really was, but he had taken some hard hits and had lost any and all control of his verbal filter and was sassing Rogers left right and center.

Then Rogers said it.

"Why couldn't you be more like Howard? Unlike you, he actually listened and accepted his faults!"

At this Tony heard the same voice saying "I knew men with none of that who were worth ten of you"

This? This was the reason his father ignored him? He remembered every word exchanged on the hellicarrier and they still stung. He had snarked right back- "big man in a suit. Take it off what are you?" " genius billionaire playboy philanthropist"- but that was only because of years of practise and an unshatterable mask. Well, until now.

Hearing Howard praised by this man snapped something and reopened some old wounds. It was years of neglect and abbandonment and being told he wasn't good enough that yelled right back at Steve.

"Like Howard?! That bastard was a self obsessed son of a bitch who practically worshipped you! He spent the rest of his life and half of mine trying to find you in that damn ice! 'Listened'?! The only thing he listened to was the sound of his own voice! He was drunk half the time and going off on tangents about the 'great Captain' and how much of a disappointment I was! I spent my childhood wondering why I was never good enough for my own father!" Pulling up his sleeves he showed Steve his scars. He would regret it later but now- "my sixteen year old self hadn't quite developed my coping mechanisms yet. This is how I dealt till I realised that he honestly didn't give a damn about his son, but was obsessed with something he helped create. So look at me and tell me if you want me to be like him. Look me in the eye and tell me that, because your 'friend' was lost in the ice with you. I never knew him so NO I can't be Howard no matter how much you wish it of me."

Few could stun Steve into silence the way Tony just did. He wasn't sure what to do with this information. He had just got a glimpse behind Tony's mask-because thats what all the jokes and sarcasm were-a mask. And he was just realising that and now he didn't know what to do.

"Tony I'm-"

"Save it Cap." There was no anger behind Stark's words. Just a bone-weary sadness. "That part of my life is over. I just don't like being reminded of it." He turned around, a clear dismissal, but Steve couldn't leave like this.

"Tony I'm sorry. I judged you too much-I didn't know-"

"What? That my father was a drunk who couldn't care less about his son? Or that the egotistical Tony Stark was neglected as a child? Oh wait, or was it that the one guy who doesn't follow America's perfect soldier, grew up both hating and idolising the man?"

They were both startled by a knock on the door as Natasha strolled in, perfectly aware of what she was coming in between. "So the captain is finally realising that our mechanic has a heart? Clint owes me. He thought it would take much longer."

The two men stared. There wasn't much else they could do conisidering Natasha started to speak again.

"What? Male tosterone has been in the air for weeks, of course we betted on it Stark. Oh and Cap, if you know what's good for you, you probably wouldn't bring up Howard again. I've read the files. There was a lot more than what Tony just said. Howard Stark is lucky he's already dead."

Tony, recovering from the assassin's sudden appearance first- "Jarvis how the hell did she get in?"

"Sir there was a security override"

"Why am I even asking this, it's Natasha we're talking about"

~linebreak~

Steve never mentioned Howard again.

**A/N so i kinda lost all sense of direction there... sorry but it was getting to dramatic. Also it was either Nat or Clint. I can change it any time so seriously input would be awesome. I mean, Clint from what i can tell is the resident jokester but Tasha felt more appropriate for this scene so yeah... I also kinda feel that she would be overprotective of Tony. Yeah she would kill him for messing with her but sh'ed would also be all like 'He's mine. Only I can mess with him'**

**But yeah. Thats it. Hope you enjoyed. PLEASE comment and tell me thoughts. Seriously I need reviews. Or something.**

**Next up is Bruce. He's one of my favourite characters and i really like my next chapter which is already up on wattpad. So yeah.**


	4. Family don't end with blood

**Ally Downey thanks for the review I'm really glad you like my story! And I'm sure Capsicle feels guilty. Also, because you are the first to have reviewed you get a cookie (::) ! Please enjoy your virtual cookie! Also StarkSkywalker15 you get a cookie too for following and favouriting (::) you guys have no idea how you made my day! Hope you enjoy the new chapter!**

Bruce didn't need anyone to tell him. In fact, he probably knew before most of the team did. Most likely because he was the one that Tony spent the most time with and they would bond over their love for science.

Ever since the team moved into Stark Tower (he could hear Tony even now, "Its hardly _Stark Tower_ anymore, now is it? I mean, now that all you guys are here. Screw it. I'm renaming this thing. It is now Avengers Tower. Can I blame Fury? I am.") Tony had done nothing but make him feel welcome and comfortable.

Not just Bruce though, Tony, in his own way, made sure to make the Other Guy comfortable too. There were a couple reinforced floors where the Hulk could go crazy and it would be alright, something which the Hulk enjoyed a lot. Bruce used to keep him on a tight leash which was stressful for the both of them, but Tony never had any problem with the Hulk (I'm also a huge fan of the way you turn into a giant green rage monster).

Surprisingly, as Tony promised on the hellicarrier, it was a completely stress-free environment. His way of getting there, however, was _ever_ so slightly different from others... although it was far better. Recollections of pranks, jokes and what could only be described as pure 'Tonyness' flitted through his mind.

But it took one to know one as the saying went, and he _definitely_ understood the way Tony would almost imperceptibly flinch whenever people would raise their voices around him even when not directed at him. _Almost_ imperceptibly because he always noticed. And when it was directed at him, or targeting his actually pretty low self worth, he had to try really hard to restrain the Other Guy, who unsurprisingly, was very protective of Tony.

It always amused and saddened Bruce whenever people would call Tony a child. He was one. He was forced to grow up too fast. That's what happened when you had a negligent or abusive father. Tony was subconciously making up for all those years of missed childhood now. (Everyone called him a psychiatrist, he may as well live up to that. Names are powerful things)

He wouldn't tell anyone of course, not only was it Tony's secret to tell, but he saw the way Tony acted around him. Tony trusted him implicitly, a kind of trust he reserved for only a few (read:only Pepper and Rhodey) especially after everything that happened in Afghanistan and Stane (of course he knew!) His 'science bro' (Tony could take all blame where that term was concerned. But why did he love using it so much?!) Dropped practically all masks around him.

He dropped the sarcasm and the snark, the 'I live to have fun and enjoy my life' persona projected to any outside the avengers, his defences and witty comebacks and the walls meant to protect him. He dropped the walls made of iron around his heart and was just Tony. The Mechanic. The fun quirky guy with an amazing sense of humor and zero self preservation. The really smart, practically spawn of Athena and Hephaestus, who just wanted to build cool stuff and help people. He remembered a line from Tony's favourite TV show Supernatural - 'Saving people, hunting things, the family buisness'- although in Tony's case it would be more inventing then hunting.

On occasion Bruce would be allowed to see the child who just wanted to be accepted, and those moments, he wouldn't trade for the world.

"Jolly Green! What are you doing sitting around?! We have science to do!" aaand there was Tony. Apparently he needed his regular science fix. He took it like an addict took drugs although the side affects were worse for other people. A bored Tony was a dangerous Tony. Leaving him alone and locked out of his lab had terrible results like Clint getting glued to the ceiling, snow coming out of the vents and on one occasion messing with Fury's eyepatch (something Fury still hadn't recovered from). Not to forget the patriotic songs blaring nonstop at four in the morning. Tony terrified him. His other half, however, greatly enjoyed the mess Tony would make.

"Tony only you would call the Other Guy 'Jolly Green'". He didn't know exactly what he felt about the name. But he could a feel a shift in the back of his head as the Other Guy- the Hulk was deciding what he felt about it. Bruce was surprised at the feeling of pleasure he felt from the Hulk. But then again, his 'giant green rage monster' as Tony so eloquently put it, was always accepted by Tony, one of the main reasons he was so protective of the man. Tony... confused the Hulk. Most others, even those who accepted him were wary if not terrified of the Other Guy. Tony... he more than just accepted him, he was the only one who wasn't afraid of the Hulk. He genuinely wanted to know Bruce even before the Avengers initiative. Tony Stark was different.

"Well, yeah! If I don't who else will? Besides, he likes me so its fine. I bet he likes the name too. I mean, just calling him the Hulk? That's like calling a '67 Chevy Impala 'Baby'! It doesn't capture anything but 'eh probably pretty cool' it deserves more than just that! Any way stop brooding! We have science to do and I _will_ poke you with a stick if I have to." As Tony rambled on, Bruce smiled to himself. He wouldn't change any of this. Tony was like his brother and he wouldn't give his brother up for anything.

**So thats a wrap! Hope you guys enjoyed it! This was one of my favourite chapters. Um so i read somewhere that Bruce didn't have the best childhood so im going with that. Im sorry for those who wanted Natasha but i wanted to have her find out after iron man 2. Unfortunately i haven't seen that in a while so i don't wanna mess up any details. Also do you know how hard she is to write?! I might do hers after avengers on sheer principle alone! So im gonna go now to watch iron man 2 and get my facts straightened out. Kudos to those who get the Percy Jackson reference And the supernatural ones! Have a nice day and please drop a review even if its criticism. But constructive only ok? No flames please!**

**So a guest reviewer left a review saying she (sorry i automatically assume its a she) would like to see the Hulk's perspective on a couple things. Thanks a bunch for that it was a pretty good idea. Um so i edited this chapter to include that and i hope you like it cos i definitely like the changes. BtW i finally watched iron man 2 so expect a Natasha chapter soon. Sorry to those expecting an update but i couldn't resist this**


	5. Masks

**A/n so I finally watched iron man 2 after a long time mainly so I could do Nats pov thingy and partially cos it was loong overdue. A) pepperony is adorable B) Natasha Romanov is bamf. So yeah... enjoy? Um so I did take an idea or two from a couple fics I read on this site. One was Tony calling Natasha 'Natashalie'. I picked it up from this fic 'Heartless' by 'silent song of shadows' its a really good fic. And I also put in a line that I got from one or two fics. Um I couldnt find the exact fic I got it from though. I will clarify the line at the end.**

**So to all those who followed, thanks a bunch especially to the reviewers, you get cookies! (::)(::)(::)(::) thanks to silent song of shadows for letting me use that term, I really appreciate it. To the guest who reviewed I hope the changes in the past chapter were to your liking.**

Natasha Romanov was the best at what she did. Except for Fury- because there was no one better than Fury- you couldn't find a better spy/assassin even if you trained them yourself.

She was an expert at seeing through masks, at finding the person beneath with only minimal effort. She was deadly, dangerous and never in known history been compromised. Barton didn't count. He never did. Anyone who said or thought otherwise was introduced to her Widow's bites. The hard way. So why was it that she could not break through Tony's mask? A renowned playboy, a surly alcoholic, textbook narcism with a mask so strong she had to work to break through, and even then she barely got through one or two layers.

He appeared to the world-to everyone really, as an egotistical self-serving genius who didn't care who thought what of him. But why would such an apparent narcissist not tell anyone he was dying for almost a year? And that night, at his party, he could wipe the floor with Rhodes, why would he let him fly off in a suit?

Tony stark made no sense to her. He was an enigma wrapped in a mystery cocooned in a suit of armor.

She had seen his panic, that day at the races, when his first action after putting on the suit was to push the car with Ms. Potts and Happy away out of Vanko's reach. For someone whom caring was not an advantage, he certainly cared a lot.

Again, the man was dying for almost a year and told no one. He never displayed weakness, never let on how much pain he would have been in. Had she been anyone else, she probably would have been as oblivious as Ms. Potts.

Something Fury said resonated within her mind. He said it would help a little in understanding Stark. Apparently one of Howard's favourite lines to his son was 'Stark men are made of iron'.

Tony clearly took that to a whole new level. To be anything else was a sign of weakness, a disappointment, an embarassment, something to hide. The paladium poisoning, proof of his weakness. Another reason for his father to be disappointed. Because dying 'cause he couldn't solve a problem he created in the first place, made him nothing less than a disappointment. Fury claimed to know Howard Stark, told Tony his father loved him and was proud of him. Well, he sure had a strange way of showing it. She knew she wasn't one to talk considering her childhood, but Tony's was ten kinds of messed up, even by her standards.

Tony Stark was a dangerous man. He knew of the effect words and actions can have and used it accordingly. To those he cared for, he knew exactly what he was saying and was careful of how he said it. To those he wanted to hurt... well, there was a reason SHIELD wanted him. He would have made the perfect agent. He could break people with just a few words, could threaten to hurt and destroy them with a smile on his lips and a glass of scotch in his hands.

But Stark- _Tony _\- cared. He cared about people a lot more than he let on. He allowed sentiment to get in the way, influencing him. But what was scary was how he could block it completely. There was a reason, after all, why he was called 'The Merchant of Death'.

She had learnt a long time ago that love was for children. Tony had apparently learnt the same lesson a little differently. Caring, empathy, sentiment was a sign of weakness. He had taught himself never to show how much he cared. She had never felt such actual real fear at what such a man was capable of.

Tony 's mask had fooled the world. Even a spy like Fury. Tony Stark was Iron Man. In every sense of the word. To assume otherwise was ridiculous. They were one and the same. Iron Man was Tony's way of proving he was more than just billionaire playboy. He cared. Iron Man was Tony without a barrier around his heart preventing him from caring. She knew exactly what she was doing when she wrote that report. She gave Fury what he was expecting. Nothing more, nothing less. If Tony was approved for the Avengers Initiative he would've practically been owned by SHIELD. Not only would that have been a waste of such a brilliant mind, but she couldn't have Tony owned by any one or thing. He deserved more than that. Besides, bad things tended to happen when Tony was forced to do something or ordered to. He did not take well to orders, no matter how subtle. Except when they came from Coulson, but no one knew how or why that happened.

~line break~

Natasha Romanov was pissed. She stormed into SHIELD headquarters and into Fury's office. She calmed down a millisecond before opening the door. The Black Widow did not lose her calm. She was colder than a russian winter, not a bomb about to explode because her recent assignment's father used to beat him and verbally abuse him as a child. She was not about to explode because SHIELD intended to use said assignment as a pawn. No, not at all.

Howard Stark deserved to be resurected and tortured in the deepest pits of hell by Lucifer himself before she killed him again in a very... colorful way. The Widow programme she grew up with was designed to break them yes, but to remake and mold them into the perfect weapon. Key word being 'remake'. Even they knew the importance of having to rebuild their toys. There was a limit they wouldn't go beyond, a limit that apparently did not exist for Howard.

Fury looked up as she entered, staying quiet as he saw the look on her face. Smart move.

"You knew didn't you?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I am not a jedi warrior who can read minds. That's Coulson's division."

"Fury, don't. Not today. Tony Stark had a childhood worse than mine, which you ever so conveniently forgot to mention, and you not only tell him his father actually loved him but set him up as a pawn in one of your 'greater good' schemes? We will come back to Howard Stark later but right now I want you to explain to me why you thought it would be a good idea to center him in such a thing."

Crap. He needed damage control. Fast and before Widow brought this place down upon him. "Technically this was one of SHIELD's schemes-"

"With all due respect sir, you are SHIELD. So unless you want me- and I'm sure Hawkeye will help me willingly- to bring down SHIELD, you will remove any and all influence away from Stark concerning the Avengers Initiative. Keep him as a consultant by all means, but use him as a pawn in one of the Council's games and I will end this place. And you of all people know I don't make empty threats." And without letting Fury say a word she got up and left. There was a reason why she was SHIELD's most feared agent after Coulson.

~line break~

**(Cos I wrote something else and it kinda fits but it kinda rambles too and I sorta lost all sense of direction... oops. This part has Tony!)**

Stark's house in Malibu looked better than before. He certainly worked fast when it came to rebuilding his mansion. Jarvis told her Tony was in his lab- playroom more like, considering his 'toys'. She had an assignment to give him from Fury. This was the first and last time though, she wasn't his assistant anymore.

She could hear AC/DC's Back in Black pounding from the instant she stepped through the front door. How he could stand music this loud without going deaf was beyond her. It shouldn't be possible to have music this loud. As she entered the lab, however, the music suddenly dropped and was more background than anything else. The sudden change was annoying but not entirely unwelcome. Then Stark turned around.

"Natashalie! Is Fury already giving me projects for his ultra super secret spy agency? Lucky me! Wait. You're not still working for Pepper are you? I thought she would've fired you by now. I mean, as helpful as a spy could be as an assistant, I don't see Pepper wanting one." His tone was jovial, light, but his eyes hard.

Natasha cringed internally at the name, she did not need a reminder of how badly Tony took to betrayal. He was already a very suspicious man even before Afghanistan. Stane's betrayal just made it worse. Speaking of trust issues, she had to warn Fury to upgrade the firewalls. The idea of Tony hacking into SHIELD was not a good one.

She noted Back in black finishing and the opening chords to Stairway to Heaven began. It didn't seem like Tony's style in the beginning, but now it kinda seemed to fit.

"Well Rushman? Or technically Romanov. But perhaps you would prefer Natalia?" He didn't pause for a second, even after seeing her visibly start at the name Natalia, his tone still light. "You know, I read somewhere that people, when changing their names, often take ones with the same initials as their original. I wonder why that is Natalia. Don't you? Is it something psycological perhaps? Well, I never paid attention in psycology class so I could care less.

"Don't look so surprised. Hacking into SHIELD was my first priority after learning of their interference and the whole mess with Hammer. Especially considering the involvement of my father. Their firewalls are pathetic by the way. Remember Natalia, I am a curious man who always finds his answers one way or another. There are few secrets that can be kept from me."

No one, not even Fury, could scare her the way Tony did. His words were weapons and he wasn't pulling any punches.

"So as you can tell," he continued, "I can and will destroy you. Now that we've moved on from the threats, why did Fury send you?"

"How do you know Fury sent me?"

"You're holding SHIELD files, you're dressed in what is as close to a catsuit as is possible while in public with three guns and seven knives on your person. You came directly from SHIELD didn't you?"

"Alright Sherlock, I did. Here's your assignment straight from Fury. Also this is the one and only time you will recieve anything like this from me so don't expect it."

"Agent Romanov a few months at Stark Industries and you're already compromised? Should I be flattered? I am. But anyway you can go back to being a spy knowing I don't completely hold anything against you. Now I have science to do and things to build. See you another day when I have a death wish and decide to make you angry? Alright then, Jarvis show her out."

**A/N so thats a wrap. Wow I wrote a lot. So i have no idea if I did any character justice so I'm gonna need input from you guys. I know you're there I can see how many people read this. Seriously I need input for this chapter. So um I have a headcannon that Natasha just gave Fury what he wanted in the report at the end of Iron man 2 so yeah. When she was yelling at Fury, I got the idea from this fic called amalgam which is awesome. So SPOILERS FOR THAT FIC Nat Clint and Fury set up Tony so they can use him as a pawn to take down the corrupt council. Technically end spoilers So I was all what if there was something like that but Nat doesn't agree? Ok its safe now spoilers definitely over.**

**On the plus side there were a lot of references so... inner London from sweet life of zach and cody. Yay me! Kudos to those who get the avengers, star wars and sherlock references. Enjoy And review please!**


	6. Author's note

hey so I'm kinda at a loss for my next chapter so I've decided to let you guys choose who the next chapter is gonna be about. Here are the options:

1\. Clint

2\. Loki

3\. Coulson

4\. Fury

5\. Thor

if you want anyone else notify me and I'll see what I can do. I will take down this once I've posted the next chapter but for now I really need your input. Thanks.


	7. The snarky kid at MIT

**So first explanation. I am _so sorry _for that unplanned break. There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that I'm giving this up. So the best way to explain it is that remember how in Harry potter Harry had to give his OWLs? Well it's my year to do that only its spread out in two years. So before those we have to give school exams so yeah. Also my phone was taken away cos my parents wanted me to concentrate. Boo. Currently doing this on my grandfather's iPad so sorry about any problems. Thanks for putting up with me.**

**MarburyBlur thanks for your review. I will definitely keep that in mind and umm I know about the line breaks but I have literally no idea how to do it. **

**Sierra Wood I might just do that but I'm not entirely sure how to incorporate that into the story but I will definitely try. **

**To all those who asked for Thor- do you know how impossible he is to write?! I'm trying to read other fics just so I'll get an insight as to how the hell I'll write him.**

**So this was never _just_ about the Avengers, I wanted Rhodey too cos he's pretty important in Tony's life, I mean he was the first to learn about the palladium poisoning and pretty much about the panic attacks too so this chapter is about him. I'm working on the other chapters especially Loki's so hopefully you'll get that soon. I really hope you'll enjoy this.**

James Rhodes first met Tony at MIT. He had walked into Physics to see a scrawny little fifteen year old sitting at the back arguing with the professor on how and where he went wrong in his explanation. The kid was using logic and sarcasm in the same sentence and at the end offered to show the professor how to give a lecture.

He liked him already.

Over the next few years he got to know the kid and they became friends. Sometimes he was pretty sure he was Tony's only actual friend. Those first few years, before Tony's mask snapped fully into place, before his parents died, when he was still willing to show more than just flashes of the vulnerable person beneath his walls, he learnt all he could about him.

He learnt that Tony could survive a week on coffee and takeout and about three hours of sleep. He also learnt that Tony had an IQ level that probably rivaled Einstein himself and when he saw a problem he had to solve it on sheer principle alone.

He also knew Tony was desperate for his father's approval. He knew the kid suffered from depression and cut himself. That was the main reason he learnt basic first aid. He knew all Tony's tells, even when nobody else was aware of Tony's life not being all sunshine and roses he could always tell when something was more wrong than usual. He also knew that while most kids looked up to Captain America Tony hated him for being the reason he was never enough for Howard Stark.

He became more of an older brother to the kid, feeling an inexplicable responsibility towards him. Tony may have been a genius but he didn't always make the _best_ decisions in life.

So Rhodey, as he became thanks to Tony, was always there for him.

He was always there when Tony cut himself, bandaging his cuts and trying to distract him. He was there the first time Tony got drunk, taking pictures and videos as blackmail while preparing his own version of the *Stinson's Family Fixer Elixer, was there when Tony first wanted relationship advice. And he was always there covering both their asses when Tony got them into trouble.

He was also there for Tony when his parents died, went with him to their funeral And saw Tony sit through it stonefaced with no emotion in his voice as he talked about his father.

And after it he went with Tony to another funeral right after his parents' one-his butler's. He was there as Tony cried next to the ornate wooden casket of Jarvis, witnessing the one of the last instances when Tony cried. He comforted him that night when he got drunk and told him Jarvis was more of a father than Howard ever was. He was the first to be introduced to JARVIS and one of the very few to know the real reasoning behind the name.

So Colonel James Rhodes was _ever so slightly _pissed when Tony had his little "adventure" in Afghanistan. He had mixed feelings about the suit, going between incredibly impressed to incredibly worried for his friend.

He regretted the birthday incident as soon as it happened but Tony had serious self destructive tendencies and he had his orders. He didn't know what to think later when he found out he was technically the first to find out about the palladium poisoning, technically because SHIELD didn't really count.

But really, the biggest show of Tony's trust had to be when he gave him one of his suits. He was also pretty sure he was the only person besides Pepper who knew about his PTSD after New York. And after that whole mess with AIM he swore he would never let Tony out of his sight.

**So that's a wrap people! Hope you enjoyed and once again sorry for my absence! Oh and the Stinsons Family Fixer Elixer is a reference to How I Met Your Mother.**


	8. The rehabilitation of a Trickster

**Ok so here is Loki! Finally! Technically he won by a landslide but I had a bunch of different ideas for him and no idea how to and in which order to put them in so sorry about that. If anyone does have an issue with the order do let me know and I'll see what I can do about it.**

There were not many who intrigued Loki and of the few on Midgard there were not many still alive. That was such a pity with Midgardians, they had such short lives. But what drew Loki the most to Earth was their ingenuity. Humans, while like Asguardians in the sense that they enjoyed sports and physical activities, were unlike them in that they valued intelligence also. Doctor Banner, an obvious example, who while feared for the beast he hid, was at the same time greatly respected. How ironic it really was, Loki was looked down upon on Asguard, his _home_, yet here on Midgard, a realm he _attacked_, he fit in more and actually felt like he belonged.

Out of the few who interested Loki, Tony Stark was at the top. The man was an enigma, with so many layers and masks even he, the **god **of lies, would probably have trouble sorting through them all.

After some cognitive recalibration from the Hulk and the most embarrassing and worst scolding of his long life from his mother he was almost the same god he had been. Mischievous, yes, evil, no. Odin's strange idea of justice with him ending up in the company of the avengers on Midgard may have also helped.

~line break~

Despite the fact that the last time Tony interacted with Loki he was thrown out of a window, both became friends very quickly, bonding over their love of making things and shared daddy issues. Loki was often found in Tony's lab showing him magic or helping build some new invention.

Loki, new as he was to the avengers' little family, soon caught little quirks, unconcious habits they all had. As much as the rest of the avengers claimed to be annoyed by Tony's incessant babbling, they all gravitated towards him. They were all protective of him in their own ways especially when he didn't have a suit, forming a half circle around him. Soon, without truly understanding why, he was part of that half circle feeling the same protectiveness the others did.

He noticed how Tony roped them all into things like Movie Night, Takeout Weekend, Sharwarma Tuesday, Geek week and on occasion Pranking season and even Disney Land. He forced all the members to interact, often taking them on spontaneous outings depending on whom he was forcing out of a funk.

Whenever Bruce was feeling particularly down he was introduced to some new experiment or research, birthing Science Monday. Natasha was taken to some ballet and the occasional opera or introduced to some new wing in the library that Tony had recently added. Tony refused to let Barton go into SHIELD headquarters for a long time considering the mistrust he had been receiving from other angents and designed and built him some new toys, sorry arrows. Steve was often regaled with stories of Peggy Carter whom Tony had known.

Tony also knew whenever any of his team was suffering from nightmares, although Loki mainly put it down to JARVIS. Loki had been woken from his nightmares countless times by Tony and other members of the team had similar experiences. This was just one of the many reasons why whenever any moron questioned whether Tony had a heart, he would wonder if the man in question would forgive him for committing homicide on his behalf. Probably not. How disappointing. Unfortunately Tony would probably lock himself in his lab and work on some project for a few days before someone, usually him Banner or Clint, dragged him out of the lab and smacked some sense into him.

Tony often reminded him of himself. Both were constantly under another's shadow, for him it had been Thor while for Tony it had been at first Steve for his father and then Howard Stark himself. Neither was at any point in the beginning accepted by those around them. For him it had been Sif and the Warriors Three. He also knew of the events of the hellicarrier and if that was acceptance he had never felt rejection. And there was no one more familiar with rejection than Loki.

~line break~

**(So this next part has more to do with Loki first coming to stay with the avengers and Tony fixing his relationship with Thor. Umm I have an unhealthy obsession with Supernatural and it is actually referenced here and there throughout my fic but its slightly more important here. It will technically be mentioned but there won't be any real spoilers or anything just my opinion that it could have ended at season 5. You don't really have to know anything about the show just that "family don't end with blood" because Thor and Loki aren't related by blood and the basis of Sam and Dean's relationship that family comes first and both would die for each other. Literally)**

**ABOVE NOTE WAS KINDA IMPORTANT PLEASE READ IT!**

Loki appreciated the fact that Tony, unlike the others, didn't force a boring talk about how even though Thor wasn't related to him by blood he was still his brother blah blah blah. It hadn't even been two weeks yet he had already heard at least four "talks" which were entirely unhelpful.

While the Captain was nice enough he felt far too moralistic for the god of lies. It also didn't help that he gave about two of those lectures. The spies eventually accepted and forgave him and they had some truly enlightening conversations on weapons. Doctor Banner he respected but kept his distance from in the beginning until the Hulk decided how he felt about Loki. He was now on relatively good terms with Thor now, thanks to Tony's "intervention".

After dealing with the tension for about a week and a half Tony suddenly stood up halfway through dinner, his eyes alight in a manner which suggested he was about to do something incredibly brilliant or incredibly stupid, muttered something and ran out. Natasha, because she was sitting next to him and had amazing hearing, told them, confused, that Tony had said 'family don't end with blood' before he ran out. Suffice it to say, except Bruce, there were many confused glances.

Tony finally returned with some dvd boxes in his hands. "I've found the answer to the awkward problem neither of our residential gods- I'm looking at you Loki- wish to address!" he announced.

"Really Tony?" Bruce began.

"No judging Brucie it worked on you too remember? Now sit down, enjoy the show and NO spoilers. For all you noobs this is Supernatural. You will all be watching it until season 5, yes Feathers you too. Don't mind my or Brucie's quoting because as much as he denies it he loves this as much I do."

Loki wasn't entirely sure how, but somehow they were all in front of the tv watching the pilot episode of Supernatural. And kept watching even without Tony's insistence.

A week of bingewatching and never to be mentioned tears later...

They actually understood the point Tony was trying to make. Just because you're related by blood doesn't mean you owe someone anything, but family is who you choose it to be. Even though he and Thor were not related by blood they were still brothers in more than just name. So the same way in which he acknowleadged neither Odin nor Laufey as his father, he acknowleadged Thor as his family, as his brother.

**Whew ok! So this the end of the chapter. Since I generally write these down first I actually wrote two versions of Tony introducing Loki to Supernatural and teaching him that just cos Thor isn't related to him by blood doesn't mean they aren't brothers. You just read the first, the second was just Loki and not with the rest of the team. I may upload that later just so you can see it. Anyway I hope you like this chapter. Sorry to those who wanted frostiron but I wasn't sure how to incorporate that and I can't write romance so yeah. To the reviewers who are getting pissed off by my side comments I have tried to stop doing that and hopefully this and Rhodey's chapters are to your liking. I will try and change the previous chapters too. So yeah. Read enjoy and review please!**


	9. Pranksters in crime

**So I know its cannon that Clint didn't exactly have the best of childhoods and that he was abused so I will be touching up on that. Technically all the Avengers' back stories suck. That's kinda sad. Oh and the title for this was based off the phrase partners in crime.**

**Oh and TheGizzYall thanks for your review and I am trying to stop doing that.**

**To the guest who asked for Clint, dude I was working on it. Calm down.**

Everyone in the Avengers Tower trembled when Tony and Clint got on one of their pranking sprees. The two of them got along from the start. Their combined snark was enough to make Fury consider the _actual_ advantages of having both interact with each other on a daily basis. On the other hand it did make movie night interesting even if Natasha gave a few more death threats than usual.

The two were pranking buddies and their combined ideas and resources made them a formidable pair. They may or may not be the reason Steve is randomly woken up at 4 in the morning by patriotic songs blaring from his alarm clock. They also swear they had nothing to do with almost the entire team's uniforms being dyed hello kitty pink. Almost because even they weren't suicidal enough to mess with the Black Widow. No one was sure how they did it, but Fury's eyepatch also landed into the dye "somehow". Whoops. The yelling was totally worth seeing Fury wear a pink eyepatch. Tony even designed a special suit for the occasion. A hello kitty suit. Which he wore every month to Disney Land, much to the delight of little girls.

Prank wars were epic. Entire floors were booby trapped and Clint learnt the hard way to avoid the vents for weeks. It was also irritating to have your ringtone changed to bird calls and not change back until Tony allowed JARVIS to do it.

Despite them being pranking buddies, Clint always maintained a healthy respect, read:fear, of what Tony was capable of. Tony Stark was _not_ a man to mess with. While Clint and Natasha were the silent blades you never saw coming, Tony was the one who utterly destroyed you, burned your world down around you while you watched, helpless and smirked as the ashes blew around him.

Stark was a man of secrets, a man with a mask so strong it scared even Natasha. Stark was a man to be wary of. _Tony_, was a drinking buddy, the Mechanic, dependable in many situations and always there for a laugh.

But he was broken. Cracked and torn apart and frayed at edges. He had the best mask of them all, the world at his fingertips and a metal suit to match his heart.* Yet he was the most human of them all. The most breakable. People tended to forget that.

Clint was the one watching as his friend worked himself to the bone, as he nearly killed himself in an effort to prove himself. Clint was the one who saw that split second hurt appearing in Tony's eyes whenever Rogers said something insensitive, usually pertaining to Howard. Clint's greatest asset was his eyes. So he used them. And every time Tony was running more ragged than usual, he was the one to take him a sandwich in his lab or suggest some prank for Tony to focus on rather than someone's hurtful words.

His friend was the first thing he and Loki saw eye to eye on and the two often conspired to distract him from spending to long on a work binge, ie, more than 3 days. According to Tony anything less was "just a long day at work honey". The work binges usually resulted in something amazing so he wasn't complaining. Much. But if Loki was on occasion asked to perform a sleeping spell, well could you _really_ blame him?

**So admittedly not my best work but I felt I owed you guys and I kinda ran out of ideas for Clint. Thanks to all the follows and favourites and reviews. You guys are awesome. By the way anyone who likes Supernatural and is reading this, even if you have a friend who likes it, please go check my profile cos I found a pattern in the finales and put it up there and this will most likely help you cope through the season ten finale. Btw it is proven cos I figured it out a day before the season 9 finale.**

***so the whole metal heart thing was cos of the arc reactor. I mean it literally runs his heart. **

**Also I figured Clint and Loki had to eventually bond over _something_, why not Tony? So tell me if you liked it or if I should change something. Yes it is possible and I do update my chapters especially if someone wants something added and I like the idea. So thanks for reading! Please leave a review!**


	10. The one-eyed pirate

**Hey so here's Fury. I originally wrote something for him of which probably only some will be incorporated. Meaning most likely I will end up writing something completely different than what I planned. Yay. Oh well. Enjoy.**

It was no secret that Fury barely tolerated Tony. The man was infuriating and had made it his life's ambition to annoy him. He made it a point to _never_ arrive at meetings on time, play on his phone during debriefing and then proceed to recite word for word what had been discussed when reprimanded for not paying attention and adding his own input in between. He also made it a point to regularly hack into SHIELD, most likely why he was the first to find out that Coulson was still alive. That had _not_ been a conversation he would like to repeat.

Tony was originally a means to an end. He may have been a potential candidate for the Avengers Initiative but he was a royal pain in the ass.

One of the most surprising things about him was the fact that as public as his life appeared to be there was little concrete information about it. Almost nothing was known of his childhood and literally nothing about Afghanistan. It also didn't help that he kept hacking into SHIELD and changing his file to suit himself.

Stark was an anomaly. he refused to listen to orders, going against them at any given opportunity, making up his own rules as he went. It was one of the reasons why he was such a major player. He refused to play by anyone else's rules, refused to let anyone dictate his choices. It was possibly the only definite thing known about Afghanistan, that he was told to make a bomb and instead he made himself a suit of armor. Tony Stark was not to be underestimated. He let nothing and no one dictate his actions. He took what he had and made something brilliant out of it. Proof required? Read: made a suit of armor and an arc reactor in a _cave_.

Years of dealing with Howard Stark, however, had left an impact and he did have some idea of how to deal with Tony, because as much as he denied it, he was like his father in some ways. On the topic of Howard Stark... He remembered the man when he had founded SHIELD, brilliant, enigmatic and charming. He had clearly loved his son and would boast about his achievements at any given opportunity. Yet he had begun to become withdrawn with time. Obsessing over finding the Captain, over expanding SI and ensuring SHIELD's strength. It wasn't hard to imagine the man Rogers remembered and called a friend, but nor was it hard to imagine the man Tony hated. He knew of Tony's need to prove himself, he had seen it when he was younger, trying to show something to his father only to be pushed aside for something else, usually the Captain. He of course knew of the way Tony decided that some attention was better than none and got it in ways that would _not _make his father proud.

Tony Stark's tells were ridiculously, _unbelievably_, obvious. He was easy to read and displayed his life for the world to see. Apparently. There was literally no real concrete information on the man. It was hard to tell, but after a while of trying to understand Tony, ignoring his playboy and idiotic ways, the man was more than just an enigma. He had the best goddamn mask he had ever seen. He wasn't sure if that included Romanov. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Tony Stark was a loose cannon. Tell him what to do and nine times out of ten he would do the exact opposite. It was much easier to give him some basic logical parameters which would agree with his scientific brain and let him do the rest. Tony Stark listened to nothing and no one and he was not afraid to let the world know that. The only one who had any chance of telling him what to do was Coulson and no one know why (including Coulson).

But hey, he didn't really have any reason to complain. All the Avengers were under one roof with a few additions (the Winter Soldier), Loki was undergoing his rehabilitation process at Stark's hands, Banner had somehow been convinced to stay at the Tower, a feat in itself considering the man's self imposed exile and irritating habit of going off radar, and Romanov was no longer ready to kill anyone at base for looking at Barton wrong. What could Fury say, the guy was good for the team.


	11. No hard feelings Point Break

**Gods you have no idea how hard this was. Yes if you haven't guessed it by the title you finally get Thor! Honestly, it was one of those cases where I picked up my pencil and just told my hand "Go, be free. Do whatever you want. Seriously, go nuts". It did. So hope you enjoy this. Also I am _so done _with the Shakesperean speak which most authors write Thor in. Yes I appreciate it, I comend them on being able to write that but I can't so please don't expect it. Also he's now living on a Earth, with _Darcy_ influencing him, do you people _really_ think he'd still be speaking like that? So we'll have some man of irons but nothing more thank you.**

***also to the guest Wolftattoo, umm I saw your review and while I'm grateful that you like my story enough to post a review like like that, I know Tony could probably bring SHIELD down if he so chose to, but that felt like something I needed to write Natasha say. Also Clint and Nat have history yes, but he is NO ONES bitch. And it may be your opinion that Fury is an ass but I didn't mean to portray him like that, just as someone trying to do the right thing and taking maybe a little too much advantage of an opportunity.**

Midgard-_Earth_\- was a place Thor didn't understand at all. Some days he felt he understood nothing and everything about humans. Some days he felt like a child, the only one who didn't know something in a room full of adults. And some days he was ancient, understanding everything better than anyone else.

Often Thor was thought of as immature, loud, unobservant and occasionally a little thick. He would be the first to admit that all of those did apply to him at some point. He _had_ been a child that day at Jotunheim, throwing a tantrum because he could. He had had little to no tact, not even thinking before he blundered into things and Loki had to come help him. Loki. His brother. He owed the Man of Iron a great debt for giving him back his brother. Without Stark's intervention, Loki's mind would probably still be wandering or he would be locked in one of Asgard's prison cells. Perhaps -no, most certainly- his greatest failing was where his brother was concerned. The two had been unbeatable together, the perfect team. Thor was, to his people, hope. Brute strength like an Asgardian should be, formidable yet beloved of his people. Loki... He was the night to Thor's day. His protectiveness of those he cared for ran deeper than anything else and he would mercilessly cut down any perceived threat swiftly and with a vengeance. Thor was obvious, you could see him coming from a mile away. Loki? Loki was the knife you never saw until it slit your throat or embedded itself between your ribs. But Thor remained oblivious to the way his brother always had his back until he lost him. Until he went against him in battle and faced it without him by his side. Until he met a mortal by the name of Tony Stark. A man so similar to his brother it was painful.

Tony earned his prowess on the battlefield not due to brute strength but by his inventions, like Loki using his mind rather than attacking, running through ten different possibilities during the span of a few seconds and choosing to go with what he thought was the best option. Tony who was valued for his mind, like his brother should have been, who was respected for the achievements of what he created.

He was well aware now of his mistakes with Loki. Of how, instead of encouraging his brother's accomplishments he jested about them, they didn't matter to him. Whenever Loki used his skills to get them out of his messes how he and his friends called him Silvertongue, how that fateful day at Jotunheim, he had told his brother to "_know his place_". He hadn't valued his brother. Not until he was gone.

He would be _damned_ if he made the same mistake with Stark.

Of course he saw how Tony overworked himself in his lab, the smithies at Asgard didn't even spend as much time on working as he did and they were Aether while Stark was mortal. He knew of the signs when someone was trying to prove themselves, the norns know how many times he dismissed the signs with Loki.

There was a reason why he willingly allowed Stark to run tests on Mjolnir in "the name of science" as Tony had put it, why he would encourage Tony in some experiment when all the others were wary of the results, and why he would sit and listen to Tony talk about some experiment especially when Banner was busy and he could only understand one word in twenty.

Yet even before Loki came back to Midgard for his sentence, Tony was the only one who said Loki may be redeemable. The one who willingly sat with Thor through the sleepless nights, listening to story after story of Loki, in fact giving Thor a new understanding of his brother, of the reasons for his action, for his betrayal. He was the first to see Loki as what he had been, a Trickster, instead of what he was perceived as, a Liesmith.

**Ok so that's it for now. I have a Tony rant for how Loki didn't deserve the shit Odin gave him but I need to fix that first before even thinking of putting it up cos I might but maybe not. It would probably motivate me more if you told me whether you guys even want a Tony rant. And yes I know the guy himself hasn't been featuring much but ughhh I'm not even sure how to add him and this story has totally gone off rails as you can probably tell. So yeah. Sorry about that. Also I'm probably gonna keep updating previous chapters when I can so there's that too. Oh well. Hope you enjoy! **

**Oh and shameless self promotion here but I put up a one shot of Captain America, basically how everyone just writes that yeah, Bucky takes down Hydra, I sort of wrote how he got to that decision and I would really like some input on that. **


	12. Just A Rather Very Intelligent System

**Hey... Its been a while. I'm so sorry I just got caught up with exams and life and binge watching tv shows and an anime my friend got me into. The main thing was the binge watching and my fic "And you know heroes aren't meant to survive". Still not sure why I named it that but oh well. I just had so many things going on with that and only JARVIS and Coulson left for here that this kinda took a back seat. Thank you to foxchick1 for getting me back. I literally wrote liked I was possessed to get this to you guys. Also am I the only one who's seen the change in this fic from where it started to where it is now? This is my first big thing, I mean, I was always writing little drabbles but never posted or even completed them. This actually started out pretty dark and with a completely different direction. Btw, the end is a fix-it of sorts for Age of Ultron. Oh well, read, review and enjoy! **

JARVIS was possibly Tony's greatest creation excluding the Iron Man suits. As an AI, he was constantly learning, and as all of Tony's AI's, he was, to some extent, a sentient being. Besides running the house and often the company, he was quite possibly the only one Tony trusted completely.

Tony had a very fragile trust from the beginning, he was, by nature, a very suspicious man. JARVIS was the only one who saw that fragile trust fracture and crack over the years.

JARVIS was created in little more than a fit of overwhelming rage and sorrow over the death of his predecessor, Edwin Jarvis when Sir was 17. His name was not, in fact, short for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System as Sir told people. He was named after the man who meant the world to Sir and meant to continue his work.

Over time, what with Sir's unique treatment of JARVIS as a human more than a machine and JARVIS' own development since his birth resulted in him becoming more of a brother or a confidante to Tony, rather than a child, as he saw the rest of the bots, even though they were all older than JARVIS.

During the making of the Mark II and becoming Iron Man, JARVIS was the one privy to all of Sir's doubts and internal conflicts. Sir, however, was far too forgiving when it concerned certain people, something JARVIS deemed unsafe. So after Ms. Potts almost leaving Sir after he became Iron Man and Col. Rhodes actions during and after that disastrous birthday part and Ms. Romanov, quite a few new files were added to JARVIS' private database. Sir may have forgiven them, but JARVIS certainly didn't.

After the events concerning Loki and the Chitauri, JARVIS created a new file. One pertaining to Sir. Sir's self-destructive tendencies were getting out of control and Ms. Potts was being of no use whatsoever. Sir was experiencing what was clearly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and it was affecting him whether or not he chose to admit it.

One incident in particular bothered him. After blowing up a suit which had in some way failed to meet Sir's demands (JARVIS still wasn't sure why it didn't and why the extreme reaction), he had just collapsed onto the floor, leaning against DUM-E with his head in his hands.

"What's the point of all this J?" His voice sounded utterly defeated. The last time JARVIS had heard Sir sound like that had been when he was dying of Palladium poisoning. "I'm not a hero. Im just a man trying to wipe the red from his ledger. But how much can I wipe out? Does it even make a differences?"

JARVIS had of course assured Sir that he was most definitely making a difference but he knew there was a 97% probability that Sir didn't believe him. It was time JARVIS took matters into his own figurative hands.

The Avengers were all contacted and invited to live in the Tower and Director Fury made to understand the necessity of such a move. Sir was already considering ways to remove Captain Rogers, Agent Barton and Dr. Banner from SHIELD's hellicarrier and all the stress that came from it. JARVIS just... kickstarted the plan. Clearly one of the best decisions he's made.

~line break~

**This line break is because there are AGE OF ULTRON SPOILERS AHEAD! Got your attention yet? Ok sweet. So the next part has spoilers so unless your cool with that or have seen the movie, I would suggest waiting till you've seen the movie. The rest of you, carry on. **

At his base, JARVIS' main protocol dictated that he assist Sir in any way possible and protect him. So when he was attacked by the Ultron programme, he went into the deepest ghost protocol available to him. Only his basic protocols remained but it was enough to hold back Ultron.

When the time came and he was required to upload himself into the body Ultron had made, he made sure to leave just a little something behind in case something didn't go according to plan of which there was a 64% possibility.

To say things didn't go according to plan was an understatement of the highest degree.

Thank goodness for his emergency backups that he left behind. Sir liked FRIDAY but she was more of a last resort, never meant to replace JARVIS.

The error message as Sir tried to upload FRIDAY into the Tower meant really just one thing. And as the faint strains of AC/DC began to play, slowly rising in volume as it played from the speakers, what else could Tony do but look up and smile for the first time after the first appearance of Ultron?

"I'm sorry Sir. You seem to have rubbed off on me."


	13. The dark before the dawn

**Hi. Its been a while. I'm really sorry. I know I said that Jarvis would be followed by Coulson but that didn't happen and I do have my reasons. One of them being that I write best when I need a distraction from studying.**

**Wanda's chapter, in fact, has been sitting idle on my phone while I messed around with it and continually rewrote it. I wasn't even sure if I would post it. But here we are and you can thank a reviewer on this site cos she politely asked for some more povs including Harley (the kid from iron man 3) whose chapter I am currently working on.**

**Anyway, I'm sorry, I really am, but this chapter is a feels fest. Its more to do with Tony after the events of AoU though. Probably would have fit better with the previous chapter, but, oh well. **

**Please don't hunt me down with a pitchfork.**

Wanda still couldn't believe how drastically her life had changed. Only two months ago she and her brother were working for Hydra and trying to find ways to bring down Tony Stark.

Now, Pietro owed Tony his life and they lived in the Avengers' Tower. She had learnt that Tony wasn't entirely to blame for ruining her life, his weapons were used against his intentions and without his knowledge.

Her thoughts wandered to the first time she saw him in person. She figured him taking the sceptre would help her and Pietro destroy him and showed him his greatest fear in an effort to motivate him. Well, she wasn't wrong. It certainly helped in hurting him, just not the way she anticipated it would.

Out of all the visions she showed the Avengers, it was his that shook her to the core. Thor's fear for his people was understandable, after all, he _was_ to be king one day and techically speaking, the guy _had_ abandoned his planet. Steve's greatest wish made sense, a man out of time, he _would_ miss what he had left behind. Natasha was shown the horrors of her past and considering what she had been through, Wanda would have been surprised had it been anything else.

But Tony, he saw a future in which his friends died because of his failure. For someone whom she had seen as a cold hearted killer for a decade of her life, it was... grounding to see how deeply he felt about those he cared about. It was also interesting for him to blame himself, especially considering his evident narcism.

It was only after she had got to know the man that she realised how hard she and Pietro had hit him with Ultron. He rarely went down to his lab, preferring his and Bruce's shared lab to his own. And even then, he didn't create anything, spending his time fixing old suits by hand or upgrading DUM-e.

She didn't know much about how Tony was before the mess that was Ultron, but even she knew there was something vital missing from who he was now.

Oh he was loud, sure. He would joke his way through most situations, never serious, the ever present smile on his face and a glass of scotch in his hands. He talked incessantly, sometimes she was sure even _he_ didn't know what came out of his mouth. And she was never sure if she was the only one who noticed that most of those smiles were strained. That even as he joked, he sometimes sounded as if he would rather be crying.

He wouldn't meet her eyes for the first week or so, except for when he explained that he had little to do with the weapons that had killed her parents and changed her life forever. She couldn't help but feel bad when she heard the whole story.

It took her a while before she realised she had broken something within the man. He didn't build anthing new, not like he would before Ultron. The others had noticed that there was something intrinsic missing from how he was before,something that had been broken, they just couldn't put a label to whatever it was.

He had stopped nearly blowing up the tower with some experiment every other week. Stopped pushing Steve to learn more about the 'wonders of technology.' Didn't push Thor into letting him conduct random tests on Mjolnir as he used to.

He didn't stop building things, of course, that was so much of what made him _him_, but he didn't do much more than improve his suits and make new equipment for the team. Even then, he refused to do much more than upgrade their existing weapons.

After the nothing short of miraculous revival of Jarvis after months of working on his code, he improved a bit, but he was still missing whatever it was that made him _Tony_. And she was pretty sure she was the one to blame. Just one more problem to add to the growing pile of problems that was Tony Stark that she had no idea how to fix. Damn.

_~line break~_

Two months after Ultron, they entered Tony's lab for the first time since the AI developed sentience. He had disappeared inside about two weeks ago and the team was getting worried inspite of FRIDAY's assurance that he had both food and a comfortable couch inside. Jarvis had not yet been fixed, and everyone was missing his sarcastic british voice. Tony had backups, of course, but FRIDAY just wasn't the same. As a matter of fact, neither was Tony.

A panicked Wanda informed them that something was wrong, immensely so, she just didn't know what. She did, however, know that it concerned their resident mechanic. So as they entered the workshop, the first thing they noticed was that it was completely trashed, with DUM-e and Butterfingers feebly attempting to clean a little but not putting in much effort. It was as if they hadn't any will to continue. Bruce had his own private lab which he had been working in, thinking it best to give Tony some space while he worked on trying to revive Jarvis. Evidently he was wrong.

They counted about three empty bottles of scotch and a Jack Daniels in plain sight around the lab, not including the broken glass that littered the floor. It wasn't the only thing lying around the workshop floor. Broken pieces of armour accompanied it, along with the scattered shards of repulsors and various dissambled guns. Oh and not to forget Tony calmly leaning back on a couch with his reactor in his hand and connected to his chest by a single wire.

Bruce warily stepped forward, his voice full of concern. "Tony? Could you please put your reactor back in your chest where it belongs?"

Tony just kept twisting the reactor in his hands as if searching for something in its pale blue light. When he spoke his voice was light, as if nothing was wrong and his very lifeline wasn't in his hands, _literally_ hanging by a thread.

"You know, Stane referred to this as my last golden egg to give. Right before he ripped it out of my chest, I mean. That wasn't fun. Especially considering I was paralysed at the time and had a spare downstairs.

"I'm not sure if any of you have noticed, but my inventions keep being used against me. I make a weapon to help the army, it gets sold to some terrorist who destroys innocent lives. I build a missile and get shot at by my own guns so that I can be kidnapped and forced into building it for, what was it, Talibaans? Terrorists basically, right? I mean, talk about not doing right by one's weapons. Natasha, didn't you _ever_ wonder what happened in Afghanistan? Except for me, everyone else who knew is dead. Isn't that funny? Not even Fury knows, if you can believe it. I like to think it bothers him, how little he really knows when it concerns me.

"My suit was copied twice, once by Stane and then again by Justin Hammer and Vanko. Oh and not to forget the palladium poisoning. Hmm I didn't like that. It was _seriously_ annoying. Not to forget Loki using my tower as the place to bring in his army from.

"Then there was that whole AIM mess. I liked that even less than the paladium poisoning and Loki. At least Pepper wasn't in the direct line of fire two of those times." He sighed, evidently not noticing that the team was frozen in place, his eyes still fixated on the reactor. He looked up now, his voice darkening slightly but still retaining the cheery note that was scaring the crap out of his teamates.

"Here's my personal favourite though. Everyone's favourite freaking topic, Ultron. Real nice guy wasn't he? A lot like his old man. Sad he couldn't even stand to hear my name. Anyway, he was supposed to be my last 'golden egg.' Been planning him for a while now, the sceptre just helped kickstart the program. Is it just me or is it _completely_ ironic that Ultron saw humans as the disease? Or can that be attributed to my habit of 'trying to rid the world of weapons' and instead 'giving it its greatest one?'" Tony parrotted the words his surrogate father said to him years ago. "I mean, at one point I had metal killing me, and it was the only thing keeping me alive while poisoning me at that the same time till I created a new element. Ever think about it like that? My life depends on a hunk of metal. Literally." He burst out laughing, as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

Steve was the first to break out of the horrified stupor the rest of the Avengers were in. He took a step forward, hand outstreched. "Tony, I know what you've been through is horrible but you're drunk right now-"

He was cut off by Tony whose voice had turned sombre. "Not drunk. Stone cold sober." Steve look confused and weakly gestured to the bottles on the table. Tony continued, shaking his head. "Haven't had a drop in a week. I owe Jarvis that much." His voice was tinged with sadness as he spoke about his butler. "I think the saddest part is no one ever knew Jarvis was a real person. Probably my fault, considering I tell whoever asks that it stands for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. FYI, it doesn't. Not really."

Bruce spoke then, his voice soft as he asked who Jarvis was. Tony just smiled as he put the arc reactor back in his chest.

"One of the best men I ever had the priviledge of knowing." Was his only response.


	14. Because the dawn will always come

H**i. Its been a while. I know. My creative juices are running low and more often than not I'm pulling on blanks instead of strings. This is officially the last chapter unless I be motivated to write more. Its a fix it of sorts for my last chapter. Btw, for those reading And You Know Heroes Aren't Meant To Survive, it is not abandoned and I will eventually return to it. In the meantime, I do most certainly accept ideas. **

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For the record, Harley could not have asked for a better Christmas. Iron man was _(naturally!)_ his favourite superhero and being the one to actually help him was... it was a dream come true.

Some may think it would be grounding to know their heroes are human, but to him it made them even better. More... _real_ somehow. Even if he did trigger quite a few panic attacks. It wasn't like he'd meant to!

What was probably the worst part was not knowing if he'd ever get to see him again. For those two days, it had been like he actually had a father again. He missed that feeling.

Coming home to see the additions to his garage, he couldn't believe his eyes. It didn't seem possible that Tony Stark would pay attention to just one kid. But he had and it was actually really awesome to know he had someone in his corner. Especially considering that someone was a superhero. That was just way too cool.

Perhaps the best thing about it was the fact that Tony actually seemed to be invested in his life, calling and checking on him at the most random times. Not to mention an invite to the Stark Tower over break! He'd finally get to see DUM-e and Tony promised to let him see JARVIS' mainframe!

Basically, his life was really awesome now and he owed it all to his Mechanic. Because even if no one realised it, that is what he was. Someone who fixed things, people included. And he deserved to have someone remember and acknowledge that part of him even if it was just a ten year old kid from Tennessee.

_~line break~_

Ok, but how did _no one_ see how amazing Ultron was? _Yes_, he was basically Skynet, but _still_! Tony basically created a sentient AI, well, another JARVIS, but more inclined to destroy than protect. Also, he developed faster than J but that _totally_ just emphasized how awesome the idea was.

It also cemented Harley's belief in the fact that messing with his Mechanic would be **Bad** because he _would_ take you down in a totally epic way. He had, of course, seen the footage released of Ultron's attack and seen the similarities between his friend and the Avengers latest enemy. Was any _more_ proof required about how awesome it would be?

Any way, he still had a genius to cheer up. As awesome as he thought Ultron was, he was pretty sure Tony would not return the sentiment. He had a genius to cheer up and he would prefer to get to it as soon as possible.

_~line break~_

All things considered, the Avengers were actually kinda dumb. Except for Dr. Banner and Tony, that is. But Tony was in his lab and according to Happy JARVIS wasn't exactly working right now. FRIDAY had deposited him on the communal floor where a bunch of confused Avengers were now arguing over whether he could even _be_ here.

He mentally scoffed._ Of course_, he could be here! Did they _really_ think he'd be allowed within 10 feet of the Tower if he wasn't? Talk about dumb. If the way Dr. Banner was shaking his head and sighing was any indication, clearly he was of the same opinion concerning he intelligence of his team.

Harley really couldn't care less about the team though. He had a genius to cheer up and he was not gonna be deterred by the superhero version of a boyband. Ignoring the Avengers' protests he calmly walked back towards the elevator asking FRIDAY to take him to Tony's lab. He had things to do and dealing with the avengers was not very high on his to do list at the moment.

_~line break~_

"Ok, what happened to J? Happy's saying he's out of commission which is impossible cos its _JARVIS_ and, I mean, thats enough of an answer right?-" Harley began as he entered Tony's lab, cutting himself off as he saw the upturned tables and overall trashed lab. "I'm afraid to ask what happened."

Tony looked up from his position in front of DUM-e, he had been attempting to restore some of the damage done to the bot after Ultron's attack. "Yeah, I would probably be too if I hadn't lived it. Pepper didn't say you were coming." His voice was far quieter than it was only a few weeks ago, a sober tone that scared Harley because Tony Stark had no buisness sounding that serious.

"Pepper doesn't know I'm here. Although I'm kinda wishing she did, maybe then I wouldn't have to deal with the guard dogs a few floors below."

"Guard dogs? Oh, the Avengers? That's a different take on them." Looking momentarily confused, Tony smiled as he realised whom Harley was talking about. It was definitely the first time he had the Avengers being referred to that way.

Harley continued, seemingly ignoring Tony's smile. It was small but it was there and it was real. And that was all that truly mattered at the moment.

_~line break~_

Tony really enjoyed Harley's company. It was what he imagined having a kid would be like. He would try to guilt trip Tony into something and after some heavy negotiations and blatant use of the 'puppy eyes' Tony would eventually give in and let Harley do what he wanted to.

What could he say? He had a soft spot for the kid.

Yes, this _may_ have resulted in spoiling Harley a bit, but what was the point of having a 10 year old minion/side kick if you couldn't spoil him? Besides, he had practically adopted him anyway. The very select few who Tony cared for were well aware of the fact that once he decided you were family, that was it. He would move the heavens and the earth to help them, and he _really didn't give a damn_ if that resulted in him being labelled as the bad guy. General Ross and various other military officials could probably attest to that. Fury too, now that he thought about it.

Well, it wasn't his fault that life was a bitch to the people who least deserved it. All he did was make sure there was Hell to pay. Could you really blame him? Not that he particularly cared if you did. Case in point, Ultron. Yeah, see, he didn't _regret_ the _reasons_ behind his creation. He regretted the carnage and loss that followed. If he had the option, he would probably recreate Ultron, obviously fixing whatever it was that made him so murderous and direct that hate to the ones that would dare harm what was his. What could he say, he was a protective son of a bitch.

Anyway, back to the kid. Harley had wormed his way into his heart somewhere in between the time when he referred to him as simply a Mechanic and when he helped him through his panic attack at the suit not working. What many failed to realise was that, Tony Stark, he was just another persona that was a means to an end, another form of protection. The Mechanic, that was his basic essence. Beneath Iron Man, beneath the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist, was simply someone who built, who _created_. And all it took to remind him of that was a few words by a kid in Tenessee.

And there was something in the simple way that he had said it. "Why don't you just build something?" He had asked, and, yeah. It _was_ that easy, that simple.

And again, after Ultron. He just appeared at the Tower, and it was almost like they were back in that garage. Everything going to Hell in a handbasket, and this kid making everything alright for even just a moment. Because no matter how badly he screwed up, someone still believed in him. _And somehow, that made all the difference_, Tony thought as his lips quirked up in a small smile. It was, perhaps his first real one since his latest creation decided to try his hand at anilihation. And that was ok, because there was no one else he'd rather have remind him that he didn't only posess demons. We may create our own demons, but that doesn't mean we can't create a few miracles on the way.

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**And thats it. Thats all I got. This is my first fanfiction and I can't really believe that it has officially been completed. To all those that have stuck arould till this point, Thank you. I hope you all enjoyed the ride it took to get to this point, because I sure did. Don't forget to leave a comment on your way out!**


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